All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
