and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize