i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
