idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
