At least make sure they are 18
Why
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
