Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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