Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
