operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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