when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i love accidental penises.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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