He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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