I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
