I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Houston, we have a squirter
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
