She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
