Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
and you said cock pushups were impossible
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
