oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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