i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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