'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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