You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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