ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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