Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
