Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
