Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
