I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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