You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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