My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
