But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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