My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
