I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
thus making me awesome and them whores
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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