who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
