it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
