Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
