You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
if only i could text you this smell
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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