Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
