So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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