A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
