Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
and you fell through a lawn chair
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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