don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am naked and annoyed.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize