"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
