her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize