So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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