a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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