Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs