one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here