what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
