Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?

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(504): He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird? http://tfl.nu/yuh6

Replies (67) Good night (7876) Bad night (1017)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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(412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r

Replies (10) Good night (3517) Bad night (623)
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(305): View more from Florida

I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.

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(305): I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him. http://tfl.nu/ngz7

Replies (19) Good night (820) Bad night (4478)
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(315): View more from New York

My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.

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(315): My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best. http://tfl.nu/ofn0

Replies (32) Good night (6381) Bad night (858)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.

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(706): Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't. http://tfl.nu/ol3k

Replies (11) Good night (7345) Bad night (1296)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?

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(513): Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today? http://tfl.nu/r6wg

Replies (7) Good night (3014) Bad night (1097)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.

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(508): Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying. http://tfl.nu/h4eg

Replies (7) Good night (5827) Bad night (1376)
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(315): View more from New York

3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.

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(315): 3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn. http://tfl.nu/iak3

Replies (8) Good night (2056) Bad night (746)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.

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(816): I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today. http://tfl.nu/j3kd

Replies (3) Good night (2014) Bad night (547)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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(902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su

Replies (4) Good night (1832) Bad night (555)
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(916): View more from California

I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�

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(916): I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished� http://tfl.nu/f0m1

Replies (7) Good night (905) Bad night (599)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk

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(443): Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk http://tfl.nu/uult

Replies (1) Good night (1186) Bad night (506)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death

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(262): You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death http://tfl.nu/q3md

Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (713)
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(425): View more from Washington

she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.

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(425): she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers. http://tfl.nu/95mp

Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (282)
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(805): View more from California

I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.

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(805): I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it. http://tfl.nu/mmaq

Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (237)

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