Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He felt like a one man threesome
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality