SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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