Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.

(573): View more from Missouri

Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.

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(813): View more from Florida

I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.

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(510): View more from California

The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(413): View more from Massachusetts

i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.

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(425): View more from Washington

Breakfast of champions

(206): View more from Washington

Is that a dick crepe?

(425): View more from Washington

It is indeed

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(720): View more from Colorado

Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.

(303): View more from Colorado

Twice?!

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