My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.