She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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