Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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