How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
