apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
