I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst