Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
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it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
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I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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