wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
