hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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