if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
