one two three fourrrrnication!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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