Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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