tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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