I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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