yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
