Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
