google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
